Crying about college seems really childish to me but I CAN’T STOP. The national deadline is on Monday and I am still undecided. I have people on my ass all day, “don’t you know the deadline is in a week”, “UNO isn’t so bad, why don’t you want to go there”, “you need to make a choice”, “why haven’t you chosen yet?”, “have you been accepted yet?”. THE STUPIDEST QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS IN THE WORLD. Of course I know the deadline is in a week, I’m not a fucking dumbass. I know I need to choice. I haven’t chosen because I am STILL WAITING FOR FINANCIAL that isn’t going to get here until Friday or Saturday, hell maybe even Monday. UNO may not be bad but hey guess what? Your parents will let you live in the dorms, you can move out. I fucking can’t. If I have to go to UNO, I get to move into the basement while all my friends are moving out. And then who knows when I will leave. My brother went to UNO and didn’t move out until he was 22 because my dad wouldn’t let him. And lastly, yes I have been accepted, you idiot, I was accepted in January and I was accepted into the music school in March. I’m sorry that my last option to get out costs $34,000 a year. I have like $10,500 in scholarships but I am still waiting on Finacial and the possible music scholarship. In a time like this, how do you still have hope? I know anyone who reads this is probably thinking, what a fucking crybaby, suck it up and go to UNO for a year. Well, you don’t live in my life. You don’t understand my dad. I love him but if I have to live here for another year, I might suffocate. I AM SO READY TO GET OUT. And the possibility of that not happening is gut-wretchening. I can’t eat even though all I want to do is eat. I just want to sit down and cry. I feel so out of control of my future. I wish I could suck it up and UNO but I don’t want to give up yet… I can’t go there. :( All I need is 10,000 more (and hopefully more than that) but I don’t think it’s possible for me to be that lucky. All I can do is wait. But the waiting is like torture. I can’t stand this.